Coaching Corner: I would like to change that agreement!
By Marilou Butcher Roth, Master Coach
We have looked at the idea of making and keeping agreements in previous posts, and now, I would like to look specifically at the agreements (conscious or unconscious) that we make with ourselves.
Take a moment and think about those times when you decided to lose weight, drink more water, change a habit, etc., etc., etc. Your intentions were admirable, your desire immense, and then, your life managed to come up with other ideas for you and your best intentions went marching right to the curb!
It happens to everyone at some point, and frequently for most. No need for shame or embarrassment! Let’s look a bit deeper however to see what is actually at play. You understand that when you make an agreement, you either need to keep it, or communicate the change. If that doesn’t happen you feel lousy -- you feel lousy because you are out of integrity.
We do not give as much thought to our agreements that we make with ourselves. When you have a desire, and then an internal call to action, (i.e. lose weight, drink more water, etc.), you are actually making an agreement with yourself. And...it works exactly the same way!
Let’s say you decide to work out three times each week. Oh yeah! You know what you want to do, where, and how. You make it through the first week like a champ! Boom! Entering into your second week, you make it the first day -- you pat yourself on the back knowing you are on a roll. And then it happens! You get a call that you deem to be important, right at the time you have allowed for your exercise. OK, you tell yourself, no big deal. And yet...it is!
There will always be “things” that come up -- you can count on it. If you merely blow off your exercise times, you will find yourself feeling bad at some point, bringing your self judgement to a full blown activity. Just as with agreements with others, when you let yourself down, you will feel lousy.
Don’t despair! This is an easy fix. When you decide to engage in activities such as we discussed above -- consciously acknowledge to yourself that you are making an agreement. Please feel free to even write them down. I ________ agree to _________. There it is, looking you right in the eye. And when (because it will), something comes up, you need to consciously change the agreement you have made with yourself. Again, it may be helpful to do this in writing. The change might be to cancel the activity entirely for that day, or, perhaps you move the activity to another time.
You will be accountable to yourself, overflowing with self-awareness and maintaining the integrity that feels sooooo good!
Marilou Butcher Roth is the owner of The MBR Group, a coaching and training company working primarily with REALTORS who have a desire to work and live from a more inspired place. She is also the Broker/Owner of Group REALTORS in Cincinnati. Marilou is a member of the Ohio REALTORS Board of Directors and past chairman of the organization’s Communications Committee. Feel free to contact Marilou to see if coaching is right for you.