Coaching Corner: Identifying fear

By Marilou Butcher Roth

First, I see the sales model that we have known becoming more and more disconnected from what actually feels good, both to clients and to agents. Gone are the days when it is effective to try to convince someone that they need to buy something or do something. Today, a healthier model of interacting with our clients is emerging. For lack of a better word, it seems to be a coaching model. The essence of coaching indicates that each client has his own best answers. That being the case, as REALTORS, our responsibility to provide the information needed to assist the client grows. Our ability to ask the kind of questions that will help your client uncover what is true for them has become an integral piece of the “new sales model.”

So from that place, think of those situations where we encounter resistance as being a potential fear that the client is having. Katie and Gay Hendricks, two of the most amazing mentors I have had identify four “flags” of fear. They are FIGHT, FLEE, FAINT and FREEZE. Let's look at each for more clarity. Fight typically does not indicate a physical response, although it can. In the sales situation, fight might look like “what do they want, my first born” as a reaction during negotiations. Flee may show up as an abrupt departure, or it might be more of a mental checkout. Faint could appear as confusion of sorts, possibly where the client previously appeared completely on board in their understanding, now they are asking the same question again. This might be a bit of a spacey feeling for them. The last one, freeze appears as a shut down from the person. It might be that a client has previously been chatty and now they are silent and their body appears to be very still.

In these situations, consider the person/client might be experiencing some fear that possibly even they cannot identify. When someone is afraid it seems that trying to convince them of something defies logic! Is that how you would want to be treated?

Next week, I will go more into how to be more present with the client when these situations come up!

Marilou Butcher Roth

Marilou Butcher Roth is the owner of The MBR Group, a coaching and training company working primarily with REALTORS who have a desire to work and live from a more inspired place. She is also the Broker/Owner of Group REALTORS in Cincinnati.

Marilou is a member of the Ohio REALTORS Board of Directors and past chairman of the organization’s Communications Committee.

Contact Marilou at  to see if coaching is right for you.

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