Coaching Corner: Real Self Care
By Marilou Butcher-Roth, Master Coach
Recently, I finished a book entitled “Real Self Care” by Dr. Pooja Lakshmin. This book presented some new ideas on how I (and hopefully you) view the concept of self-care. In the book, the author talks about the typical societal view of self-care, i.e. yoga classes, nail appointments, etc.
She goes into detail referring to these activities as “faux self-care,” explaining that when you have someone who is already inundated with a plethora of to-do's, these alleged self-care items can, in fact, become just something else we feel we need to do. She explains that real self-care involves clear boundary setting with no guilt. Instead, it requires self-compassion and identifying and living from your values. Sounds easy enough until I began to explore this idea further. I consider myself to be excellent at boundary setting, yet where I clearly need some work is around the guilt piece, finding myself justifying my decisions, sometimes inwardly and sometimes to the person I just set a boundary with.
This week, tune into those items that you have deemed to be self-care and check in with yourself to see how clear your own boundaries are. Are you, like me, finding yourself justifying your decisions? What about your self-talk? Are you being compassionate? Releasing feelings of guilt when they are attached to your own needs is a challenge for many, but necessary. For guidance, contemplate how you’d feel not taking care of yourself—would that serve anyone properly? (Hint: the answer is no…)
This is a big one, so be gentle!