Coaching Corner: And the Award Goes To……
By Master Coach Marilou Butcher Roth
Drama - we pay money to view it on big and small screens, enjoying watching as stories unfold. What about the drama that we observe and possibly participate in within our own lives? It is not uncommon for me to hear from someone that they are not interested in drama, and interestingly, find themselves in the midst of a dramatic experience as they speak these words. How do these less than desirable situations occur?
My belief is that drama becomes an addiction, with that troublesome essence of adrenaline lurking about, some finding themselves subconsciously craving this adrenaline.
Drama can be anywhere, office, home, with friends. A good part of the time it begins in a way that seems innocent enough. Someone comes to you with “can I talk to you (in confidence) about something that is happening?”. We of course respond affirmatively because we are nice and want to help, right? Even though our intentions are overflowing with goodness, there is a good chance we will get caught up in drama that is not even ours.
These situations will happen - it’s human nature! Knowing that, let’s look at some ways to honor the other person and keep you from spiraling into the mix. Begin with assessing yourself, committing or recommitting to authenticity and integrity. When a situation presents itself, DO NOT jump in with advice. Listen to the other person and notice what you notice, both with them and within yourself. It is perfectly appropriate to respond with “it sounds like your are upset”, or, “how would you like to handle this?”. These, of course, are very generic responses and yet can shift the conversation.
The key is to NOT contribute to the upset as it is being presented to you. You may even have some knowledge of other information regarding the story at hand. OK, that’s fine, and it doesn’t mean it needs to be shared. Gossip is destructive and none of us want to be at the other end of someone else’s gossip, so let’s not do it to others.
Remember the Golden Rule - not doing (or saying) anything to others that you would not want done (or said) about you. Find healthier modes of communication and I promise you will enjoy your relationships more fully. The award for drama is not the one that you want to receive. Keep those awards to our on screen friends.
Marilou Butcher Roth
Marilou Butcher Roth is the owner of The MBR Group, a coaching and training company working primarily with REALTORS who have a desire to work and live from a more inspired place. She is also the Broker/Owner of Group REALTORS in Cincinnati.
Marilou is a member of the Ohio REALTORS Board of Directors and past chairman of the organization’s Communications Committee.
