Coaching Corner: Listening filters
By Marilou Butcher Roth
During the course of our lives we have developed certain filters that we hear through, and interpret information. If, for example, we carried with us the feeling that we were constantly criticized as a child, we might hear through a filter of criticism as an adult. So, let's take this example further — you just got your hair cut and you are feeling pretty good about how you look. Your significant other sees you and says, “did you get your hair cut?†Now, if you have a filter of criticism through which you hear, you are probably looking more for “your hair looks great,†and hearing only the first question, you immediately interpret the comment as a negative, thinking they don't think you look good. The interesting piece of this is that it is you creating what you think they mean and allowing those thoughts to cloud your feelings in a negative way.
There are many filters that we may hear information through -- over the next week pay attention to what filters you might have. Once you notice some of your reactions to various comments, identify the filter. When you can bring awareness to this, you can begin to dissolve it.
These listening filters can play a big role in our business interactions. Sometimes a client may make a very simple statement that we interpret as anything but simple. Imagine if you were living without filters when we listen and communication was both clean and clear -- ahhh, now that's good!
Marilou Butcher Roth
Marilou Butcher Roth is the owner of The MBR Group, a coaching and training company working primarily with REALTORS who have a desire to work and live from a more inspired place. She is also the Broker/Owner of Group REALTORS in Cincinnati.
Marilou is a member of the Ohio REALTORS Board of Directors and past chairman of the organization’s Communications Committee.
