Coaching Corner: Easy as 1, 2, 3...or is it?
By Marilou Butcher Roth
Historically for most of us we tend to go to the circumstance or person to place blame -- how dare they say that, or, my life would be so much better if _______ wasn't happening. The last thing we want to do is to go inside and muster up the energy and courage we perceive it will take to assume healthy responsibility for what is occurring.
Now, let me be clear that we do NOT have control over the actions of others nor issues happening in the economy or the world, but we MUST bring more awareness to what is happening within each of us and what we are experiencing as a result of something occurring outside of ourselves.
Here is the process when you find yourself in a situation where you want to blame:
- Become the observer -- notice without judgement. Look at what is happening within yourself more from a wow! perspective -- isn't that interesting. Release any judgement towards the situation or person you feel has caused this issue, and also any judgement you may have about the feelings that are erupting within you! Just notice!
- Now is the fun part -- get curious! Perhaps you may ask, Hmmm, I wonder why this is showing up for me now? Are there other situations that have come up recently where I have felt the same way? Is there something I need to learn from this? The idea is to open to getting curious as opposed to blaming, which you will find takes the sting out of the situation. The questions that come up for you may vary and be wary of any question that resembles, I wonder how I can make this/them/it stop!
- Ask yourself what you want -- it could be regarding this specific situation or it might be as general as I want to feel good. When you can focus on what you want rather than what you perceive as the problem, you will experience a shift into a better feeling direction!
Taking healthy responsibility for your own experiences will lead you to more aliveness and more fun in your life! Enjoy!
