Coaching Corner: Children, work & spaghetti carbonara
By Marilou Butcher Roth
During this time of my life I was juggling real estate and FOUR boys and I was convinced that I could indeed be “Marathon Mom,†even when they were with their father. This story is about one of those moments when I realized I was either going to have to start easing up on myself or risk potential insanity.
It was a weeknight, homework was being done (or whatever it was they did when they went upstairs), and I was preparing what I thought would be a marvelous dinner -- spaghetti carbonara. As it turned out I made too much pasta, which was a regular occurrence (isn't more always better?). I assembled the dinner and decided to send the overage of pasta down the garbage disposal, being uneducated as to the ways of the garbage disposal. Putting pasta down a garbage is NOT a good idea! Yep, the disposal chopped it up and there it all sat staring back at me as if to point out my ignorance! The water continued to build and I attempted to undo this mess but alas, the disposal gods did not shine on my valiant efforts and the water continued to rise.
As much as I do not like to do this, I asked for help! I was given one of those pressure cans which in theory is supposed to shoot air into the clog and the sink will magically drain -- note the “in theory†part. One of my sons was in close proximity so I asked him to hold the stopper down in one side of the sink so that I could shoot this magical air into the other side, creating pressure and unclogging the sink. Well, we got pressure! We got so much pressure that despite the valiant efforts of my 12 year old son to hold the stopper down, little teeny pieces of pasta shot throughout the kitchen -- the walls, the ceiling, the floor and covering us as well, like Sunday dinner gone bad!
After the kitchen and both of us were clean, I began to find humor in realizing how this experience reflected this phase of my life. How beautiful the completed dinner was to see and eat and how much time and energy it took to clean up all the teeny, tiny pieces of pasta. Aha! A moment of enlightenment -- I realized how segmented my life had become, how scattered my time and energy were. What was truly important? Was it absolutely necessary to be this elaborate in my cooking for 12 and 14 year old boys? Did they actually care and why did I find these tasks so important?
Shortly thereafter, in conjunction with my real estate career, I began coaching, assisting others in finding balance within their lives and identifying their values and purposes. Looking back, I realize how the events of that messy night brought me to a new awareness and directly impacted my life choices.
Although I have never prepared that particular dish again, I can't help but smile whenever I see a recipe for spaghetti carbonara!
Marilou Butcher Roth
Marilou Butcher Roth is the owner of The MBR Group, a coaching and training company working primarily with REALTORS who have a desire to work and live from a more inspired place. She is also the Broker/Owner of Group REALTORS in Cincinnati.
Marilou is a member of the Ohio REALTORS Board of Directors and past chairman of the organization’s Communications Committee.
