Coaching Corner: Is your judge holding court?
By "Coach" Marilou Butcher Roth
There is a great class right now that meets our Fair Housing core requirement called Implicit Bias. It goes into how we unconsciously pass judgment on people or situations based upon how they look, talk, etc. Judgment of others and ourselves is something that can cause issues both within our business as well as our personal lives.
You may be asking how we can be in control of this if we are doing it unconsciously. Well, some of it is conscious and some is not. One of the in your face clues might be when you notice that you have a should. He should behave differently, or, I should lose weight. Obviously, there can be many other words that operate the same as should, although the word should seems to be the primary culprit!
When we are judging situations, others or ourselves, it keeps us in a space that truly doesn't feel good. Some people are addicted to judging others which is a pretty sure sign that their self-judgement is even more severe!
Bringing awareness to your own judge is the best first step -- and, I might add, to do so without judgment! :) It is funny but that is how we behave. We are harder on ourselves than anyone else is. So, just gently notice when you catch yourself shoulding. Don't punish yourself -- you might do some self talk around the situation to bring yourself back to a more open place, or sometimes, I call a friend that I know won't let me get away with my judgments and just say my judgment out loud. Often times for me it just takes saying it aloud to realize how my judge has jumped into dangerous territory.
This week, pay attention to when you find yourself in judgment of yourself, others or a situation. When you catch it, ask yourself this question do I want to be right about my judgment or do I want to be happy? I hope you get the happy answer!
